Yaaradi ne mohini- the wildest chillout evvva’

This is aaaas good as it gets.. I can’t tell u the class of experience we had that day… this is the story of 4 fanatic wildass bums who got their asses screwed for no good.. i’m gonna tell u the story from my point of view and certain bums will disagree with me… but I don’t care.. this is my blog..this is my story.. and with that said, lemme kick start ‘the wildest chillout evvva’…

…..My college is more or less like a hangout place in itself.. u can enter anytime and move out when u want to.. usually the classes get over by 3 or 4. that unless a madman wants to eat up a little more of the remaining brain off the students with his extra classes.. but this was not one of those days and we got on with our daily dose of gaming. After couple of hours of cs, I guess I left the college by 6..

….I was in train on my way back home. I had every part of my body pointing in different directions. A bend in every place possible in human anatomy. . nothing like I got caught in a dreadful gang war or something, but traveling in jam packed local trains at weekday evening is nothing less that a gang war.. as this was not enough, my phone started vibrating. These are one of those moments where u wish you were in the 18^th century.. I somehow managed to slip the phone out of my jeans pocket. The screen displayed ‘Nari calling….’. I thought, now which girl is this bugger gonna talk about…when nari calls, its mostly for 2 things.. 1. He wants to talk about a girl he recently came across.. or 2. he’s planning for a hangout. … I thought twice about attending the call.. not that I did’nt want to, but it was too noisy out there. so many people, each of whom wanted their voice to reach their listener and the loud train sound to go along with it.. anyway I did attend, and I knew I was not going to hear anything.. he said something that I clearly did not understand. I replied “ dude, I’m in train. I can’t hear anything. I’ll call u when I get home” and I awaited response…I could hear his faint voice saying something.. I blocked my other ear with my pinky, struggling to maintain my balance and said “what?”.. he said “ dai, this is important”…I sensed form his tone that this was something other that the 2 points I mentioned earlier.. how wrong I was.. he said “ me and Lokesh are planning to go for a movie. Hemanth is also coming. You HAVE to come” providing a little extra pressure on ‘have’.. I said by reflex “ ur nuts man, what are you saying.. how am I suppose to go home after the movie..”..he said “come to my place. I’m alone in my home.. lokesh and hemant are also gonna stay at my place only.. we’ll have a blast..you have to come man..”… the narsiman part of my told “ what are you waiting for..lets go”….but the intellectual part of me (i.e. the vatsa part of me) reminded me of my mom and her anger… but when it comes to having fun, the narsiman part easily overrules the vatsa part of me.. I told nari “ I’ll call my mom and findout if I can come..i’ll call u 10 mins” and I cut the phone…

……. I got down in korattur station.. I called my mom n told her I had some extra super duper assignment to finish and that I needed to stay in my friend’s place tonight… she agreed.. parents never say no to studies I guess.. then I called back nari and told him the good news.. he wanted me to come to villivakam station.. he told he’ll pick me up from there and go to abirami straight..i took a train in the reverse direction and landed in villivakam. ( damn..i was crossing villivakm when nari called..if he had called me couple of mins earlier, I could have got down at villivakm itself..anyway, life’s not easy…lets move on)… I msged nari that I was waiting 4 him.. he told “ innum 15 mins la vandhudreen da anga..”…his 15mins translated to 50mins.. hemant called me for 4^th time to ask our status.. everytime, I had to say…” innum station la dhaan da irukken.. nari innum varala”.. he said “ o**a, lokesh ey srm la irunndhu vanndhutaan, indha b***u ku naadhamuni la irunndhu vara yevlo neeram da..”…after some time, nari finally showed up..the look on his face seemed as if he’d gone around the world looking for me and finally found me in his backyard.. dumbass.. I was a little frustrated myself besides hemant.. I asked him why he was late, for which he told he went to fill petrol (yeah right, filling petrol takes more than halfn hour… took a flight to Saudi or what??).. we both started from their and we hardly drove for 5 mins when nari spoke “ dai, vanndi oota vey mudiila da..” now I thought may be he’s a bit tired or something.. so I offered to ride.. he said, “ illa da, nan *****ye poodla da”…I was like, no way maaannn.. this night can’t get worse than this..we took a 180 degree turn and headed to his home..i was sitting on his vehicle, right in front of the gate and this guy went up to his room.. now how long does one take to put on an extra bit of clothing… he took ages and ages to come down.. and mean while, when I was waiting for him, a female was sitting in the veranda. She asked “gowtham ku wait pannriya pa??”..i said “aama aunty”…and after sometime another female came out of nowhere… she had a threatening voice.. she looked at me and asked the other female, “yaar adhu”… this female told “ gowtham ooda friend…avanukku wait pannran..padam paaka pooranga polarukku”..now the female with the scary voice started shouting “enna nanachikktu irukkan indha paiiyan… oru control illama pooidchi.. padathuku poora time aa idhu..vara vara veetla nimmdhi yee illa indha paiiya naala.. bark bark bark bark….”she went on barking.. I moved a little away from the gate cos I had a slight feeling that she might at any moment, take a big rod and bang it on my head..hemant called me again.. I told “ dai, ivan veetukku vanndhutoom da.. ivan j****ye poodleyam”..hemant was going mad “ennadhu, j****ye poodlaya?? Saava sollu da avana..innum 10 mins la inga varala renndu peerum, naan kelammbi veetukku pooiduveen”..…finally this guy came down and we started again from his home..and to my surprise, this guy entered a petrol bunk… I asked him “dai, vara boodhu dhana da petrol pootee nu sonna…”… he did not answer pretending he did not hear me.. I knew he cud not think of any practical excuse.. so I thot lets give it a break.. we reached abirami in the end.. we rushed inside to find hemant and lokesh.. lok was too frustrated to speak.. all curses came flooding out of hemant’s mouth.. the movie was supposed to start by 10….it was 10.30 when we bot the ticket.. ‘yaaradi ne mohini’…I donno if I spelled it properly, but pretty nice movie I shud tell u..

….1am when we stepped out of the mall.. HOLD ON…. Something doesn’t fit in.. there’s just one crap vehicle and there are four asses.. hohohoho….we. are. screwed. a dialogue from the movie came to my mind.. “yenga amma appaveeey sonnaangaa”…lolz… if there was any chance of reaching home, by hook or by crook…we needed to have the movie ticket…it was THE only thing that could prove that we actually went to a movie… ok, so we have the tickets..but how the hell are we supposed to get home???...a little fighting, a little cursing…the final decided.. lets walk all the way.. if we get caught, we’ll make up some story..besides, we have the movie tickets… I told myself ‘yeah…how bad can it get..lets start walking”… damn…in couple of hours I got my answer..

….. all 4 night riders started our incredible journey by walk.. yes, we had the serious risk (read obvious) of being questioned by cops.. 4 guys, especially one with long junky hair and one with almost no hair, along with 2 other culprit looking guys pushing away what seemed to be a broken down (read stolen) 2 wheeler at 2 o’clock in the night obviously doesn’t seem quite acceptable. To add spice to the show, nari had no license, no RC book, no insurance paper, no nothin… although we had a million reasons to be scared about, I was having a good time.. cos its not everyday that u go for a walk with your best pals at 1.30 in the morning… occasional wind blows would lift the papers on the road.. and it was the only thing that gave life to the place besides the four nitwits..

…….20 mins later, it was time to upgrade our plan.. and it involved using the bike.. I mean.. his BAJAJ spirit… we had certain limitations though,…like only 3 people cud go at a time.. no one person should walk alone in the road.. so our plan was like this.. nari and lokesh would go a certain distance in his bike, drop lokesh at some junction, come back, pick up me and hemant, get to the point where lok is waiting. Form there, me and hemant would start walking again till he takes lokesh and drops him further ahead.. and repeat the process till we get home.. anything that would get me to shelter fast was ok with me.. hemant had no objections either if I can remember.. so the plan commences and nari and lokesh pair left us.

…if hemant was a gal, I would have almost called it romantic yaar.. I looked at him half expecting him to turn into a beatuful gal, but I still saw the beard ..all I cud do was look away.. we saw an old police constable on a cycle with another fellow.. they crossed us and went..they jst paid a peek.. we expected him to question us but he did not.. we continued walking, a little relived.. after few minutes, the same guys were coming in the opposite direction.. this time, we were not lucky enough.. the old guy called us.. we both walked to him..i tried to keep my face as innocent lookin as possible, but I guess a guy with almost no hair and a considerably long beard does’nt look innocent in any angle .. since this was an old guy on a cycle, with another dumb fellow who I guess had no brains, they did not seem like much threatening.. our conversation was something like this..

Oldcop: yenga da pooringa?

Hemant: padam paathutu veetukku poorom.

Oldcop: yenndha padam?

Hemant: yaaradi ne mohini.

Then the oldcop told the dumb cop to check the tickets.. he took a look at our tickets and said “ellam correct aa dhaan irukku”..

Oldcop: yenga da irukku veedu?

Hemant: noor hotel kitta sir..

Oldcop: yenndho ooru ne?

Hemant: inndha ooru dhaan sir..

Oldcop : ne ?

Me : inndha ooru dhaan.

Oldcop : enna pannriinga reendu peerum ?

Hemant: student sir..

Old cop: renndu peerum aa?

Hemant: aama sir..

Old cop: om peeru enna?

Hemant: D. hemant kumar..

Oldcop: um peeru?

Me: vatsa

Oldcop: enna jaadhi nee?

Hemant: (i don’t remember what he said but i guess it sounds something like.)Godzilla.

Oldcop: anndha jaadhi la hemant nu payr vekka maataangaley…

Hemant: illa sir.. hemant dhaan sir..

Oldcop: ne yenna jaadhi?

Me: theriyaadhu.

Oldcop: theriyaadha? Enna jaadhi ney theriyaadha?

Me: illa theriyaadhu..

Oldcop: seri.. seekirum veetuku pooi seerunnga..

…. we were walking for what seemed to be eternity.. as per plan, nari was to come back in 15 mins.. ok, 20 mins max dude… but what the f***…we reached hemant’s home and no sign of nari… nari did not have his phone with him.. though lokesh did, he did not pick up.. we tried his landline (may b these asshole went straight to home).. but to shit.. lolz…now feel like mentioning this.. hemant is scared of dogs.. he would spell a curse at every dog in the street.. “paaru da, inngayeee morachhi paakudhu da saniya..”… hahahaha…I thot “okkkk..alright..so the coolguy has a fear of dogs huu??”… i know people like sush...a good friend of mine, who has this monstrous fear of dogs.. in her case, since she’s a gal.. fear is acceptable..but this guy... woow man.. chaaance ee illa.. ok fine..getting on track again.. we were still looking out for nari.. we were still near hemant’s house.. we did not walk after that… hemant bugger said.. “ye veedu vandhudchi da.. na po pooren..”… ya he jst said that, but I knew he would’nt leave me here in middle of the road at this time.... but still..

…I was too tired, too messed up and too sleepy to think straight.. I tried his landline no again.. but they did not pick up.. aaaahhhhhh…. Where the F r they.. we thot probably these bums ran into some cops… now that would be really bad….cos in that case, they’d need to save their asses first before they cud come to our rescue.. thankfully my phone buzzed… hemant: “ o**a, landline la irunndhu call panraanunga da.. veetukeyy pooitaanunga avanunga..”…hemant answerd.. Hemant was blasting nari over phone.. and who would’nt.. nari says “dai..naanga veetuku vanndhutoom da. Neenga appadiye nadanndhey vanndhudunga…” what the bloody F**k… cos I don’t wanna turn my blog into some sort of social evil, I’ll censor hemant’s reply..basically he spelled out ever possible badword u can say per sentence..+ ordered nari come here and take both of us.. me and hemat were standing in the noor hotel busstand…

….now, what do u expect nari to do? Come in his spirit alone…pickup both of us, and we go home… BUT....guess what happens… both of them came back.. and the best part is, we saw them coming by walk.. we spotted them for far way.. hemant was like “ dai, avanungala adhu…aama da.. avunungaleyy dha da.. enne da nadanndhu varaanga…”…when we asked them where the f**k is the vehicle, the reply was probably the last thing I wanted to hear at that moment.. it got puncherd… I was like…..brillllllliant.. and just when I thot this dreadful night was gonna get over, fate opened the gate for another hour of merciless walking....

….we went over to the place where they had parked the piece of crap.. we had a little discussion.. since it was close to 2.30, the place would be crawling with cop on night patrol.. so getting caught was a sure deal.. that, if we take the main road.. (according to nari or hemant..i don’t remember….) hemant knew another route through which we could skip the, main road.. but I donno why, I had this real bad feeling in me.. I knew we were gonna run into some trouble.. I guess, we took just few steps, when the trouble came from our back with a siren… daaaaamn… I thot, probably after getting thru this night, I’m gonna be an expert on ‘how to screw up your weekends.’… I turned my head to find a bolero and a bike.. 3 guys came upto us..

…..one guy was young, around 20 I guess, not wearing uniform..one guy was middle aged.. and an old guy.. this old guy had some extra badges and ropes and accessories attached to his shirt, probably speaking of his superiority.. I was too blown out to remember what happened..but I’ll try to be as accurate as possible.. those guys came up and started questioning us.. all the usual questions…. Who r u guys.. what r u guys up to… n bla bla bla bla.. we gave some psycho answers to all those… then (thankfully) the old guy left.. only 2 cops were left and it felt a little better.. I guess 2 is better than 3… the guy asked for license.. nari was practically shivering.. he went up to open the seat as if he really has one.. he said “illa sir”… “license illa ya?”…RC book…no…insurance no… we showed the movie tickets.. the non uniformed guy checked all our pockets and nothing suspicious came up..lokesh was doing most of the talking…actually lokesh did all the talking.. the cop told hemant to call his dad… hemant was like “veena sir.. thittuvaanga sir”.. the cop said “ oru vaati anubava aptta dhaan thirunduviinga..”…hemant took his phone and called… I thot, what the hell is he doing. If he calls his dad, all our dad’s will get to know and we’ll be in the trouble of our life.. this guy is smart.. he was calling nari’s number.. he did not have his phone with him remember??? He said “ yedukkala sir”.. this is the funny part.. that guy flashed torch on lokesh’s face and said “ ivan nalla thelivva irukkan..”….then my face.. “indhu rommbo quite aa irukku”.. then nari and hemant… “ inndha rendu muunji dhaan yenakku pidikkavey illa.. thiruttu muli mulikkiraanuga”…lolz… now those cops were quite friendly and polite.. he asked “ seri yeen main road vittutu anndha sanndhu kulla pooninga??”…lokesh said “ main road la vanndha neenga pidippiinga nu dhaan appadi poonoom”.. the cop said the area through which we planed to go was not at all safe “ yevanaavadhu kathhi kaamichhi kaasu vanndi ellam thuukitu pooitaan na neenga yennga kitta dhaan varanum”…. Ya true.. what he said actually made sense.. then he said.. “seri inndh time veetukku yeppadi pooviinga, vanndhu station la ukkarunnga, nalaikii kaalaila poonga” …..what the hell.. no way man.. spend a night in police staion.. forget it.. no damn f**king way.. all four of us busted out.. “illa sir, veena sir.. ippadiye nadanndu pooidroom”..that guy started lafing.. “ seri da.. aana inndha vanndi yeppadi thallitu pooviinga???? Vanndi ya station la vittutu, naalaikki kaalaila rc book kaamchitu yeduthutu poongaa”…. Now that did’nt seem like a bad idea.. but still..u know.. we did not feel right.. that guy told us to come to the main road… nari was turning his bike around and damaaaaar….he puts it down.. l thot the cops r gonna get pissed off.. but lokesh spoke immediately.. “innga paarunnda sir..olunnga thaal kuuda theriila.. “… the non uniform guy replied “ adhhaan thallitaaney.. innum enna thalla theriila..”.. hehehe… lokesh or me..i donno… pushed that thing to the main road few yards away.. me, lokesh and hemant were on foot. Nari came with the cops on bike.. the uniform guy was riding.. nari second and that young guy was sitting at the end.. while going, that young guy asked nari it seems “ yaaru da heroine?”…nari: “ nayanthara”… that guy asked “ samma bit aa???” lolz….nari said “ nayanthara samma katta..” then after some yes sir, no sir.. we were allowed to go…. All 4 of us and a piece of crap.. it was awesome.. me and lokesh were the only people pushing that crap… nari was like “ dai… mudiila da.. kai kaal ellam sammaya valikkidhu da.. please da. Thallu da..” hemant was like “ anndha vanndiya naan thoda kooda maaten..”…we were walking walking walking walking.. cops in jeep, bolero, bike.. they’ll come and stop us as if like “FBI…FREEEZZZ”… all the time we would give the same dialogue.. “ayanavaram liye police pudichitaanga sir.. fine katti aachi..”…then they’d go away.. that was the longest unscheduled walk I’d ever made in my whole life..

….guess it was 4 am…. We were close to his house.. A tea shop was open.. we got ourselves tea and some biscuits… this was a reward I and lokesh had earned for pushing nari’s bike all the way..we reached his place, quietly parked his bike went up his room, spread the bed and I probably fell asleep even before lying down..

….i woke up at 9 in the morning.. I was the last to wake up.. I did not open my eyes yet.. I heard nari and hemant talking something.. nari was telling hemant.. “ innga paaru da.. eyppadi paduthhu thoongaraan..”.. I wanted to getup and shout at his face.. “ who the f**k pushed your f**king spirit all the f**king way to your f**king home u bloddy f**ker….” But then.. I’m lazy to even open my eyes.. I got up after some time.. just to cutshort the story, we did nt do anything much.. we had lunch outside in a hotel.. i had put my phone for charging before going for lunch.. was switched off yesterday night itself.. when I switched on.. it had 10 missed calls from my dad.. and like 5 or 6 missed calls from some of my college friends.. I realized I'm in some major trouble … I called one of my friends.. he picked up and started “thev****paiiya.. yennga da poi tholannja.. unnga appa samma gaand la irukkaru.. college ku ellam phone panni tholachitaaru.. “.. then I called another friend.. same story form him.. “ bhosadikey, kaha gayab ho gaya saaley.. mujhey laga thu kahi mar gaya.. chuuthiye therey ghar me sey 10 call aa gaya..”..then I gathered up enf courage to call my dad.. . he did not even say hello.. he started blasting me like hell.. he had called all my college friends.. they told they did not know.. then he called my college it seems. They told “ your son hasn’t come to college today..”.. I got majorly screwed that day.. then after killing some time, me and lokesh took a bus to korattur.. then form there., took a train and reached our home.. home sweet home.. lolz… this was ‘the’ most awesome experience we ever ever had together.. and just to give a touch of bollywood to our friendship, this song is dedicated to the craziest bunch of amateurs on the face of earth..this song is exclusively for our friendship..


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