Ok, so coming to this post.. as the title might suggest, its not something involving too much profanity.. rather, its about this funny ( damn funny) incident that happed during my days in school hostel… the lead characters in the story: Mr ‘B’ and ‘The Ashish’.. and it all begins like this..
The above thing is sort f a rough representation of my room..(I donno y I drew it.. not that necessary..mayb after 20yrs when im reading this, it’ll bring back sweet memories of some of the best days of my life.. :) ) so this is wat happed.. Mr B, ( don’t wanna mention his name..guy from the next room).. had a gift from his galfrnd… it was a ceramic thing. Wat is called?? A small thing, a boy and gal holding eachother… I donno the exact word 4 it.. u’ll find lot f this stuff in fancy store shelves.. hope u got it.. so, he had this thing given by his galfrnd and he had kept it on top of the shelf.. ( y did he keep something with so much emotional value in our room?? Victoria’s secret..lolz..i donno).. one fine day, around 5 in the evening, me and ashish were sitting in our bed.. and asish was searching for his pen..hold on..fact no.101: Ashish’s pouch never run’s out of pens and pencils.. how? This is how..after the school gets over, and all the students leave the school, he goes all around the school, into each and every classroom, and brings back anything that he gets his hands on.. sometimes when I don’t have a pen, I used to join him in his ‘hunting’(as the process was widely know in the hostel)..shhhh..now this is a secret.. during one of our hunting, we got our hands on a key.. that night, we went and tried the keys on each and every door that was locked.. chemistry lab, physics lab, staffroom, library and BRAVO!!! Computer lab opened.. that day onward we used to enter the lab with our pillows and bedsheets at 12 or 1am..switch on the AC..sleep there till 5 in the morning..then getup, switchoff the AC, sneak back into our rooms..i even spoiled some comps..hehehe..no physical damage, but i fucked around in the Windows/System32 folder..hehehe..it was like adventure every day.. lolz.. coming back to the main story, ashish was desperate to find his pen.. he was furiously scanning and all the selves and in the process, knocked the ceramic thing down and broke it into 2 pieces..and the best part.. that thing broke vertically, separating the boy and the gal…(ouch…painful !!)..he bent down and picked up both the pieces, he was scared to his balls cos B would screw him if he found out( B is almost twice of ashish’s size).. and the worst thing happened.. B came in… caught ashish red handed.. u can imagine wat happed next..
Both got into a big argument.. bla bla bla.. after like 15 mins of verbal dishum dishum, B told him “ I donno wt ya gonna do, I wan2 c this thing fixed in 10mins..”..
Obeying his orders, ashish bot some feviquick.. that 5 rupees pack.. OMG.. that was the 1st time I saw feviquick in action..that thing is so damn fucking strong.. so he came back into the room and he carefully applied that adhesive onto the two broken pieces and attached it.. it was good.. the same as it was before, except the small visible crack and some tiny missing pieces.. he gave it back to B and told him to keep it in his room.. B took it and went away..
He came back into the room, he wasn’t very angry now though, but still a little pissed off on ashish.. Ashish was sitting in his bed. He had kept the left over feviquick on the table.. B spotted the tube and picked it up.. when ashish had his gaze somewhere else, he swiftly squeezed the remaining glue on his……..well…….read the title……though he wasn’t naked(fcors).. he was wearing a netted shorts and…… nothing inside. so basically wat happed was the glue just filtered through the cloth and fell on his thing.. hahahaha.. I was there sitting on my bed watching the whole drama… next second me ashish and B, all three of us were shouting.. Ashish was shouting cos he was in the danger of getting the hole blocked and not having kid in the future… B was laughing violently, pulling down every entity on the table.. I was screaming, telling ashish to go run and wash it quickly…..ashish ran spreading his legs, to the toilet, holding ‘that’ part of his shorts as far away from his thing as possible…it was so damn funny on B’s part… hahahaha.. he came back.. along with me and B, some more ppl had gathered to welcome ash back to the room, as if waiting for the president to step out of the plane and wave at us.. lolz.. he was very angry at B..
‘the’ ashish…(as he was commonly teased in hostel) has a very funny strange accent. First time he spoke to me, I had trouble figuring out what language he was talking in.. now this guy came back angrily from the toilet.. he said.. “it iij nut guuing”.. all of us burst into laughter.. ya ya..i know.. its not something to laugh at.. it could be serious.. but all of us who had gathered around had one heck of a time laughing at him.. then the humor settled and B told ash to go to doctor..(B is actually a very nice guy…thought I should mention this, cos this whole thing is giving him a villain role…lolz)..
To go out of the hostel, we had to 1st ask the warden..//wat the fuck.. my mom is telling me to get up from comp…and do some work.. chance ee illa//..where was I… ya.. we had to take warden’s permission before going out. She’d give small slip(the so called outpass..)..and the security would let us go out.. so ashish went to hospital and came back in an hour.. when he came back, every one rushed into our room.. wat happened, wat happened, wat happened… and ashish was like, doc gave me some ointment..and he gave an angry look to B and told.. “I hab tu apply it on my [CENSORED]”…lolz.. the way he told, his face expression..oh my god.. it was hillllllarious.. B asked him “ wat did u tell the warden da?”… he said “maam, I hab infection”.. warden had asked “ where”.. “BELOW MY WAIST, BETWEEN MY LEGS”… hahahahahahaha…..legendary…. this line will go down in history as one of the most famous lines ashish has ever said..or atleast in my blog..lolz..
That night, after dinner, warden came to our room to check on us.. she came and asked “ enna pa, avnukku kannda yadathhula infection nu sollraan.. yenna pa aachi”.. we all burst into laughter.. in the midst of our laughter, and to get things going, one guy farted.. hahahahaha… *burp*..hahahaha.. who’s the culprit?? Victoria’s second secret.. hahahahah.. I’m never gonna forget that day..
After like a week or so, we forgot abt this thing.. every morning we would dressup, go to the canteen for breakfast, come back to our room, take our bags and we would go to class.. one fine day, me and B were coming back from canteen. We both entered the room, Ashish was about to apply the ointment.. hahahaha.. he had it on his index finger..he had taken as much as the length of his index finger.. B’s dialogue “ ashish, u have that much loooong dick ah da??”…hahahaha.. oh damn.. ashish threw the tube on B and “ maachikney..”. hahaha..
Damn.. those were the best days of my life.. it remains as sweet memories in my heart.. and thank google, I can bring out those memories and emotions to my blog..
Hope u enjoyed this post.. and I have tried my best to keep it as interesting as possible ( as I’v mentioned in my prev post.. )… so stay tuned.. I’LL BE BAK.. -\m/
and thats ashish in the pic..
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