Hi yall..Well I’m not throwin apologies for late posting.. guess that’s the way life has become.. self driven, by the consequences of my past acts n decisions leaving no room for my current desires.. like making regular posts in my blog… ye whatever.. alright, since I’v been making a post at least once a month and there are only like wat 5 days left? For this month to end.. I thought alright, lets do this… So, wat is it abt… well nothing that has happed yet.. its abt… something that I .. really expect to happen..or something like that.. I don’t know how to put this without sounding too lame, too serious too commitment-phobic.. its about…. Wat do I say.. hmmm…. I donno man.. seriously…. I’m running out of words…ok here it is.. I just wanted to talk about…..oh my god.. about the..well.. u know… qualities….character and.. u know..basically abt this beautiful image that I have in mind about ‘THE ONE FOR ME’..
Ok..so im 18..for guys 
who haven’t thot abt gals and love and things in their entire life, i think this is a reasonable time to start… ok…just wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait……….let me make a very honest statement.. what I’m typing here might technically, theoretically, mentally, physically hypothetically or in any damn way be wrong….. it is just wat has been running thru my head for the past couple of weeks.. I’v never taken my opp sex that seriously and this is the 1st time im doing whatever im doing right now……….. ok im being brave now and picking up where I left.. ( god damn it.. wat am I doing… I wish no body reads this post)… ok, so it has been a couple of weeks since this girls thingy has gotten into my head and I can’t seem to get it out..
Let me press the rewind button in my life and lemme take u back in my life.. I think It was 5th std when I had my 1st crush.. NO. I’m not telling her name.. cos its my password 4 lot of stuffs…including my google id.. apart from that I never had crush on any one.. never felt I was in love or something..infact, on the major part, I was sort f disgusted about romance… I reached my 10th std… trust me, 90% of the guys in my class were after some gal.. only like 3 or 4 of us were… “gals? OMG…RUN….” Sort of people..(I used to talk to my classmates.. but.. still..) By the time I reached my hi school I had no problem with gals.. I had good friends n spent some great time with them in classroom but these thing called affair n romance n stuffs never interested me.. not even once.. All this time I was pretty sure that I wanted to be single all my life.. cos that’s the way I loved.. at that time.. and rightly said, times change…
And I’m stuck again.. I donno how do I say this.. cos I’v never ever even tried to express myself this way.. not even to myself.. I’m not a romantic person, so lemme just put it the way it comes in my head.. to start off with, I think I’v started feeling lonely.. If this sounds lame, I think u should leave my blog right now, cos its gonna get worse.. I remember the time I used to say things like “ I’m not gonna marry” or “ I’m a royal stag”.. but really.. that is not wat I want right now.. I remember my roommate in hostel getting goodmorning msg everyday at 5am from his galfrnd, and he never used to get irritated.. I used to get mad at him… but now I feel I lack that someone who could be my first thought in the morning.. someone, who’s goodmorning wud be something more that just a wish.. something that’d remind me that I do have something to look forward to apart myself.. I’v started thinking abt this gal with whom I’m gonna endup at some point later in my life( I hope)..and when I look at a gal on the road or anywhere, this thot hits me like a breeze…may b she’s the one you might endup with.. who know.. and the next micro second.. I’d be like “shit..wat am I thinking..” n I’d laf at myself.. but seriously, I’m pretty clear about one thing right now.. I need a gal.. Serious.. I really believe that there is someone out there.. trust me, I can even hear her voice. I can imagine the way she talks.. I can visualize her face expressions.. its just that I havn’t yet bumped on her.. how badly I wish I had her now.. right next to me.. I love her.. I’m not just saying it.. I know I really do.. I have this thing.. inside me that I wanna give it out to her.. and I can’t wait to do that.. I want to show this female that she is special.. I don’t really know wat I’m typing, but I can almost feel it.. she is there somewhere.. reading this as I’m typing it and giggling to herself.. damn.. I wanna hold her hands.. look right into her retina.. and tell her these exact words “I love u”.. I’v heard people saying this in movies a million times.. but when it happens with you, it really feels sort of different.. nice… amazing…. I know this is probably the most boring post I’v ever made.. cos this is the first time that I’m not able to covert my thoughts and feelings into text and binary codes.... right now I’m sort of frustrated, angry, excited and lot f mixed emotions are coming out right now.. I just can’t wait it to make her feel the way I want her to feel.. I mean.. I wanna to know that she matters hell lot to me... I want her to know that I’m gonna stand by her side forever… want her to understand that she’s all that matters for me.. and above all I want her to know that I really really really love her and I wanna c her happy all the time.. its only smile.. a cute smile..it is all that I want to c on her face.. it is all that I want to see in this whole fuckin world.. I wanna give out my everything to this one girl.. who’s gonna rest her head on my shoulders.. I’ll do anything to make her the happiest female there ever lived.. I want this one gal whom I can proudle call my wife.. I’ll tell ppl that she s MY wife.. every time it rains, I fly to this time were me and her wud b sitting..right next to the window with a cup f coffee…cuddling eachother..(damn…rain gets me romantic.. ).. I’d look into her eyes and tell her that I love her.. more that anything else in this world.. probably for the hundredth time of the day.. alright, i agree..i'm talking all crap... but i told u earlier.. its just things that has been running thru in my head.. and i'm so messed up right now that i can't think much of anything else apart this 'ONE FOR ME'.. so much that i can't even think of a good cheesy ending for this post.. i'm sorry cos i have to leave it here..hold on till the next post.. i'll try to make it a little interesing.. but till then.. cya...
wait wait wait wait wait wait ......................i know this guy from school...(he looks like a monster out of some b/w horror movie ) he called me and told he's making out wid some gal....damn.. ok, i dont have that josh radnor cute looks, but i.........4get it.. c ya in the next post.. bye bye...
