Mad Scientist: Ashish

DISCLAIMER: Since Ashish asked me not to write anything about him in my blog, this is not about him. This is about.. well.. a mad scientist. Who used to be my room mate. :P

1st, switch off that liquidator. no seriously. switch it off. if you have a mosquito coil thats burning, put that out too. throw out all the mosquito repellent creams n bullshit. cos when you are done reading this post, you will be an enlightened person. you will have a brand new way of getting rid of mosquitoes.

WARNING: Expect heavy side effects.Even death. but mosquitoes gone. for sure.

With that said, its story time. The year was 2005 (probably). And i was in hostel. you see, how comfortable you are in hostel, depends on lot of factors. Friends, room mates, canteen, bathrooms (goooosh.. read my last post), chicks in the girls hostel across the building (very imp..) and finally your room itself. now, it isn't really nice if you have a long complaint list about your room. we did. but we could live through it fortunately. But there was this one problem that kept us awake all night. literally.yes that was mosquitoes. Our room was a breading ground for mosquitoes. under the bed, gzzzzzzzzzzz.. above your head, gzzzzzzzzz.. in the shelf, gzzzzzzzz.. inside dirty clothes, gzzzzzzzz.. WTF.. every night it was like, our body is the bar and mosquitoes would get drunk like hell.. we tried every thing possible. liquidators, coils, creams n what not.. but these were some sort of super mutant mosquitoes that swore to drink up every last drop of blood in our body. it was getting totally impossible to sleep. And just about the time, when we were about to conclude that nothing could be done, our mad scientist stepped forward for our rescue. well atleast that is what he intended to do.

it was around 8 pm. time for dinner. i believe i was taking bath or something. i was a bit late. i found the rooms empty. everyone had already left. except ashish.i was standing near the door and i had a gut feeling that told me he's doing something crazy. well, it wasn't actually a gut feeling. when he's alone, he's surely upto something crazy. he used to keep all the books and notebooks stacked up on the table like he's building a miniature version of NYC. there was hardly place for anything else. but through the gap between the stack of book, i could c a cleaning sponge. maintaining a safe distance from the table (he might be making some sort of an explosive. with this guy, you can never be sure) i asked him what was he upto now? he told me he's going to get rid of the mosquitoes. i dared to step closer and take a look. i saw the complete apparatus. but it didn't really make any sense to me at first. there was a cleaning sponge as i told you. what i missed the first time was a small plate and a liquidator's refill. you know, the small bottle with some liquid that you put into the liquidator machine. with the sponge on the plate, he broke open the bottle and poured the liquid content on the sponge. i still had no clue what he was doing. then it all made sense when he pulled it out from his pocket. a damn matchbox. i said in bold clear words. WHAT THE FUCK??. before i could tell him anything, he lit the whole thing up. it had a small firework kind of starting. a big flame, but then it started burning like some ordinary sponge. i found myself shouting at him, telling him to move it away from all the book n papers. he lifted it using some cloth. someone's underpants. i'm sure about this. whenever he needed to clean or dust something(and lift hot objects), he used someone else's underpants. he placed in on the floor in middle of the room. we closed the doors and windows and left for dinner. on our way to dinner he had a big grin on his face and he told me that there wasn't going to be any sign of mosquitoes tonight. i actually knew that already. cos with the kind of smoke that his little invention was giving out, not even a human could survive in that room for more than couple of minutes. it was dense. dense as in, real dense. and black. imagine tar in vapor form. it was like that.

when we came back to the room...... i don't know how to put it in words. i had trouble making up my mind that it was actually my room. you see, when a volcano erupts or something, you have this volcanic ash that comes out and it settles all over the place. like snowfall. but gray and dirty that's hard to get rid of. it was pretty close in my case. only difference was that, it wasn't volcanic and it wasn't gray. it was black. just like the smoke, it was black. a thin coating over everything that was left exposed.

i had to leave pretty soon after that to my uncle's place, couple of streets off my hostel, cos my parents had come to Chennai for a couple of days. i really felt bad cos i would not be able to enjoy the one mosquito-less night in the hostel but i'll have to clean all my stuffs when i come back. its like you have to pay for a meal that you never had. when i got home that night, my mom asked me what exactly was i doing in hostel before i left. of course, i was standing in the room for sometime and the dust had also settled upon me. head, eye lashes, hair on my hands, everything had a black coating to it. i gave her the who story and everyone was really amused.

when i came back to my room, i had to clean all my stuffs. change my bedcover, pillow cover, dust my book and shelf and every small piece of thing on my shelf.but for some reason i wasn't upset. may be i knew it would make a good blog post in the future.

oh, by the way, guys told me, there wasn't any sign of mosquito for next couple of days. Hats off to our mad scientist!!!


thx for reading. pls comment.

Holy Crap!! We are in ladies toilet !!

Hello people.. hows life??.. yesterday i was reading some of my older posts about my hostel and school days.. i was lost in memories. So i thought maybe i should post something more about my school days..

This is a small incident that happened with me and one of my classmate called Vivek. But before I start with my story, I think I should tell u this. Our school campus was shared by another women’s college. And due to some lack of classrooms, the college had occupied some of the classrooms in the 2^nd floor of our school building. That is where my hostel room was. And that is exactly the floor where the hostel toilet was. Now, how this toilet thing works is like this. During working hours, it’s a normal toilet. Everyone uses it. Those college girls included. After 4pm and on holidays , it becomes the Hostel toilet. Only the hostel students use it. And we hostel students would use only the ladies toilet because it had water supply and the other one did not (we need water to take bath and stuffs yaar.. ).

I don’t exactly remember, but I think we had some special class or something. It was a holiday for rest of the school. There was no trace of any college girls in the building either. But we saw some of them outside in the ground practicing some dance or something on the stage. Who cares. I was in canteen having breakfast when this guy Vivek came in. After I was done eating, we both left for the class. We had to cross the playground to get the Canteen from our school building, and it was raining the last night. When we reached the class, the teacher hadn’t arrived yet. So I thought, I could use the time to go n wash my legs, cos it was all muddy muddy.. plus I had to take something from my room. A pen or notebook I assume. I don’t remember. I took vivek along with me to my room, took whatever I needed and went to toilet to wash my legs. The ‘hostel’ toilet. (c’mon, it was a holiday…).. the toilet isn’t like, you open the door and you enter the toilet. The entrance is like a small chamber. You need to make couple of sharp turn and that’s when you enter the toilet. So the point is, it takes at least 3 to 4 seconds to enter the toilet from the corridor. I was washing my legs and vivek was standing idle. And suddenly we heard the noise. Atleast 15 to 20 girls. Running into the toilet. We threw each other a frightened look. There was no escape, there was no way we could exit the toilet now. Wasting no time, we both ran into one of the bathrooms and closed the door. I was so fuckin scared that I could feel my balls up in my throat. I remember praying, “please, don’t knock this door.. not this one, not this one..” ..both of us were standing real still. I remember him whispering into my ears in a scared voice. “maatno, TC dhaan da. “.. after couple of minutes, the worst thing happened. Someone was trying to open the door. No, not knocking. FORCING the door open. I thought my heart was gonna jump out of its place. At that moment, its very very difficult to think. But I did a thing that saved our asses.. The very reason why we were trapped like this. I opened the tap and let the water flow. Full force. I heard a voice say, “somebody is in there”… and I replied in my mind.. “yes bitches.. we are in here..”.. I was opening and closing the tap at regular intervals. We were waiting for more than 15 minutes. But it seems like eternity. After all the voices and footsteps faded away, I bent down, and through the gap between the door and the floor I peeked outside. It was difficult to see, but I could make out that no one was there. I slowly opened the door and stepped outside. Coast was clear. I’m usually pretty lazy. I always double think about doing anything that involves more than 5 secs of work. But at that point, i ran to the classroom, vivek right behind me. I can easily tell u, that was the fastest run I’ve ever made in my whole life.

Sitting in the classroom, I was totally out of breath. Cos I had run after a long time.(gosh, I can’t even remember the last time I ran..) but mostly cos of the adventure that we went thru, if I can call it that.. after a couple of hours, after the shock had settled down, I was thinking how did I ever land up in such a mess.now I could remember what those girls were taking. Holy mother of god!!!! I’v seen guys using a lot of profanity. Yes, even I speak bad words. But what the hell.. this was way too much.. the way they were speaking was 10 times worse than what I cud could ever come up with. This might be hard to believe, but trust me.

I’ve never told this to a lot of people, cos it’s a little embarrassing. But what the hell.. this is my blog and I can put whatever I want. And how many people read my blog anyway huh??

If u liked this post, wait till the next one. Its about a guy who has been already mentioned in my blog. I think it was one of the best posts I’v made. “Under my Waist, between my legs”, if u people remember. No prize for guessing, its our mad scientist Ashish Kumar Gupta..

“Mad Scientist” coming soon!!

Thx for reading. Pls comment.

You told u can swim!! (Trip to Poondy : Part 2)

Heyyyy.. wassuuuup ppl.. i'm excited for some unknown reason.. and as long as i'm happy, i don't give a damn for reasons.. so. If u haven't noticed it yet, my last post was titled trip to poondy part 1. Now its totally reasonable to expect a part 2, but not when the blog belongs to a lazy ass like me. And definitely not, when its about some jackass. But then i thought, come on, how bad could it be. So here it is in its shortest form i can manage. we went to the same old place. Our Vineeth, the jackass i mentioned before, dropped his fatass into the flowin water. and he started to drift away. though the water level was only till his hips, he was pretending to swim, which looked less like swimming and more like a dog digging out mud trying to cover up its poo.. when his swimming did not work, he started shouting for help, "daai, vaanga da, pant a poodunnga da". he thought we'll jump into rescue and throw him a pant, like vous saved hemanth's crazy ass last time..*sarcastic sigh* and guess what, no one even moved a muscle. it wasn't until he went a good 10 -15 yard away, when hemanth called some guys taking bath there, for help. then a guy brought him back..damn. what a piece of shit man..Later after the rescue, vineeth vous and hema went into water again. took bath for some time. i never had any plan of getting in. i preferred solid ground. it started raining when we were leaving. it was so nice. rain, lonely road. Greenery. beautiful. so lemme sum up this post with some pics. and videos if i can find any.. bye. c ya in the next post.